Math was never my strong suit, and I tend to struggle spelling, let alone understanding, what an algorithm is, but according to researchers who employ such things, adults speak an average of 16,000 words per day. 

Now before you have the chance to formulate a gender-based joke, let me suggest a few words that should be a part of every day’s allotment:

1. “Hello.”

Avoid practical invisibility.  An intentional greeting, regardless of whether we know the person, not only signals our awareness of their presence, but our awareness that their presence matters.  Reciprocation isn’t the issue.  Valuing verbally is.  Say hi.  To everybody. Being recognized matters.

2. “Thank you.”

I know this is rocket science stuff, isn’t it?

But simply saying thank you seems to be a dying habit.  It’s easier to grab the latte and go. To change lanes without acknowledging. To walk through the door held open with a closed mouth.  Perhaps the root cause is an inaccurate sense of entitlement.  Inflated ego and self-absorption rarely produce a child named gratitude.  If someone does something to help you, look them in the eye and let them know, out loud, that you appreciate it.

3. “I love you.”

There are no greater words to speak.  Period.  Your loved ones need to hear them, frequently.  If you’re married, your spouse needs to hear them from your mouth, every day.  If you have kids, your children need to hear them, from you, constantly.

And if you’re a person who feels that when it comes to “I love you” that your actions speak louder than words, they don’t.  Keep being gracious and kind, but don’t think actions are a substitute for vocalizing.  Act, and speak.  Silent love is fictional.  Spoken love is alive.

Oh, and one more thing.  Let’s avoid adding the word “because.”  Ultimately, love is best expressed, and best received, when given and spoken, unconditionally. Love that’s expressed simply because of the inherent value of a person’s being, is an unrivaled love. Remember, it’s “I love you.” Period.

I know.  This is hard work.  But most things worth anything, are.