Guys – Three Things Your Ladies Need to Hear, Out Loud, Every Day


The Grand Canyon.  Niagara Falls.  Mount Everest.  The Milky Way Galaxy.

I’ve been to two of them.  And I live in another.  All are magnificent, majestic, and awe-inspiring.  However, I think the list is incomplete.  It’s time to add another to the catalog of God’s amazing creations…


Yeah, guys are pretty cool too, but the beauty, mystery, and complexity of the XX pairing is truly something to behold.

Informing my opinion of course, is the fact that I’m married to a girl, and the father of two girls. As president of my own sorority, for many years now I’ve had the 24-7 opportunity to observe the fairer gender and have been dutifully taking notes.  I’ve not aced every test, nor have I got it all figured out (not by a long shot), but my female comprehension has increased. Though at times I still feel persecuted three against one, I do think I’ve learned a few things.

First, a bit of foundation.

Girls need to feel things, but they especially need to hear things. And by “hear” I mean to suggest a disturbance of the air in which sound waves enter the auditory canal of at least one, if not both ears on the side of the female’s head.  This necessitates the intentional opening of one’s oral cavity to initiate what is called speech. Please note that the intended message exiting the male mouth, and the message received by the female ears, and processed in the female brain, will not be unquestionably identical.  In fact, in some cases, due to various factors, repetition will be necessary, so get comfortable practicing and saying with meaning the following things to your wife or daughter (or both), out loud, as you look them in the eye, every single day:

“You’re important to me.” – ultimately it’s our actions that demonstrate a female’s importance, but she desperately needs (and wants) to also hear from us that we think she’s valuable and of great worth.  Words expressing her importance will help make her feel secure, will help solidify her sometimes fragile self-image, and reinforce a desire inside of her that she longs to have affirmed.

“You’re beautiful. Period.”  (and yes, technical male people, actually say the word “period”) – females are incessantly bombarded with messages of how they should look.  Quite candidly, I don’t think we guys have a clue about how significant a pressure this is to women.  For example, if you’ve never heard of the concept of “thigh gap”, ask a woman.  She probably has.  And has felt the associated pressures to have her body look a certain way, have her weight be a certain number or below, keep her hair healthy, her face clear, and on and on and on.  Us guys?  We tend to worry about more substantive issues, like what’s on ESPN, Target’s latest sale on sweatpants, and why Five Guys doesn’t offer value meals.

Counter the culture and continually seek to convince your wife or daughter that her beauty isn’t one-dimensional.  Tell her that she’s an attractive person physically, but also let her know her beauty includes parts of her that only you know best – her personality, her mind, her accomplishments, her ability to juggle life’s demands, her work ethic, and her spirit.

Her beauty isn’t a size, a number, or a feeling based on either of the two.  Tell her that.  Over and over.

“I love you.” – I just timed how long it takes to say these three words.  0.79 seconds.

For heaven’s sake, let’s say this. It quite possibly could be the best investment of less than one second you’ll make in your day.  If you haven’t said it in a while, tell her today.  If you told her yesterday, tell her today.  If you’re one of those strong, silent types, stop making excuses and tell her today.

The fact is, I’ve never met a female who complains that her husband or dad tells her too much that she’s loved.  When it comes to these three words, “enough” isn’t in her vocabulary.  So tell her that you love her, and tell her often.


Guys, if you’re anything like me, we’ve got some work to do.  Are you ready?

Let’s start talking.


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