Doctor: “It’s a girl.”

God: “Here. Hold this.”
Me: “I don’t know how.”
God: “I know. Just try.”

Her: “Why, Dad?”

Me: “Like this?”
God: “Yeah. Little tighter.”
Me: “What if she doesn’t like it?”
God: “She probably won’t.”
Me: “And that’s it?”
God: “Tell her you love her. And keep holding.”
Me: “OK.”

Her: “Dad, can I have the keys to your car?”

Me: “She’s slipping.”
God: “That’s normal.”
Me: “But I don’t like it.”
God: “You probably won’t.”
Me: “And that’s it?”
God: “Tell her you love her. And loosen the grip.”
Me: “OK.”

God: “How’s it going?”

Me: “You want the real answer?”
God: “I already know that.”
Me: “What about what’s next?”
God: “What about it?”
Me: “What’s gonna happen?”
God: “She’ll decide that.”
Me: “And that’s it?
God: “Tell her you love her. And advise her.”
Me: “And let her choose?”
God: “Yes.”
Me: “That’s hard.”
God: “I know. Just try.”
Me: “So show them you love them. Then trust them, right?”
God: “I can relate. Yes.”